I am a flipping MESS!

A complete and utter disorganized, disheveled MESS!

I know what you're thinking. "oh Liza...everyone is a tad disorganized at times. Everyone forgets things at times."

Ya, you really have no earthly idea.  I am THAT mom...the one who forgets to pick my kids up from school. No, you still don't get it. Sure, you've probably forgotten your kid a time or two. It's to be expected...we are busy women, with busy schedules...shiz happens.  No, I am the mom who ALWAYS forgets my kid. Last year, Daughter #2 had after school band practice Every. Single. Wednesday.  And I drove all the way home without picking her up, you guessed it...Every. Single. Wednesday.

She would get pissed at me too. The phone call always went something like this "Hello?" "ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS? YOU FORGOT ME AGAIN?!?! THAT MAKES 7 WEEKS IN A ROW YOU KNOW! IT'S HOT OUT HERE!"

To which I always respond "Shut up kid. I'm on my way.  You keep this between us, and I'll buy you an ice cream on the way home."

I easily spent a month's worth of my salary feeding that kid sugary frozen treats just to keep her from telling her father how many times I left her sitting at school.

That's not even the tip of the iceberg either. I go to the store for a gallon of milk, walk out $200 later with no milk.  And the worst part is, I don't even realize it til the next day.

I recently went out of town for a 4 day little mini-vaca.  I packed 8 pairs of pants for the trip, and no shirts.

Just last week I decided to have a fish fry for dinner. Turned on the fryer to heat up my grease while I prepped the fish.  However, after turning on the fryer, I completely forgot that I intended have a fish fry. I made meatloaf, mashed taters and corn.  The next morning, my husband found the fryer still on. It's a wonder I didn't burn my freaking house down.


I really think there is something wrong with me. This is not normal mom-brain.  This is like mom-brain mixed with a side of ADHD, and a little bit of schizophrenia thrown in there just to spice things up a tad.

The bad thing is, 2 out of the 3 kids are just like me in this regard.  Obviously, they don't share my DNA, but i'm pretty sure they've contracted this disease by osmosis or something.  The oldest girl, and the boy...yeah, they are doomed.  I sent the boy upstairs to brush his teeth two nights ago.  He came down 20 minutes later wearing different clothes, and with his hair wet.  Never brushed his teeth...because when he got to the top of the stairs and couldn't recall why I sent him up there, he assumed it was to take a shower and get dressed.

Our eldest daughter? Exactly the same way.

The middle one on the other hand? She is OCD enough for all the rest of us combined.  And don't ever tell her anything unless you really want her to remember it.  How do you think I got stuck buy so damn many ice creams last year?

So tell me, what do you forget to do?