Proof positive that God has a sense of humor.

Some of my friends who erroneously think that I am funny, have challenged me to start a blog. I don't expect that anyone will follow it, but I'll give it a shot anyway.

There's a few things you need to know about me:

1) I suffer from a self-diagnosed disorder, which I have deemed to be called "OADD".  (Obsessive-Attention-Deficit-Disorder, for those of you who don't know me well enough to understand.) When a new idea or opportunity presents itself to me, I pour 150% of myself into whatever it is...for about 3.5 seconds. 

If my blog sucks, and reading it makes you want to stab yourself in the eye, this could be  good thing for you.  But on the off chance that it's exceptionally awesome, and you want more...you might be sorely disappointed, because there is a strong chance that one day I will wake up and decide I am bored with blogging, and never write another entry. 

2) Most of the things I say offend someone, somewhere, somehow.  I don't believe this requires any further explanation. If you have big girl panties, you might find me funny.  If you're easily offended, I would recommend that you stop reading now before you get to #3, and see that I'm discussing my believe that God is responsible for all of the comedy in my life.

3) I strongly believe that God has an incredible sense of humor. If He didn't, funny crap wouldn't happen to me nearly as much as it does. I don't make up any of the ridiculous stories that my friends read on Facebook, which is what inspired them to tell me to start a blog.  This shit really happens to me. I don't know why....but I feel like I struck the Life-Lottery. Take this guy for example: 

If God didn't want me to laugh hysterically....why on earth would he place a guy on a motorcycle, wearing a hairpiece, directly in front of my vehicle?  Do you know that I almost died when he took off from that intersection? Because when his hair flew off and landed on the street, I almost killed both him and myself because I hit the gas instead of the brake in my laughter induced stupor.  It was one of the single greatest moments of my life. 

Also....I'm not nearly as funny as people give me credit for. It's the people around me who will make you pee yourself.  Literally....I have a cousin who once made me pee myself laughing.  My kids are the source of most of my jokes...I don't know why my kids are so damn funny...they just are. I don't make up any of their quotes either. Their humor is all them... Further proof that God loves me I suppose. 

Anyway...all that to say, welcome. Hope you like me, but if you don't, it's probably because you suck.