I don't even know where to begin with this post. I'll just start by referencing the following piece of crap article that one of my girlfriends so delightfully shared with me today:
http://www.fixthefamily.com/blog/6-reasons-to-not-send-your-daughter-to-college
Go ahead and read that gem. I'll wait.
You finished now? Is your blood boiling? Are you ready to kill someone? If not, you should be.
The most influential person in my life was my grandmother, God rest her soul. My Grammie was a good Christian lady. And, being of her generation, she lived a life that was very similar to what this person describes here. She had 11 children. ELEVEN. She did not go to college, she did not have a driver's license. She stayed home and raised her children and kept her home. She did not, however, homeschool my father nor his siblings. Aside from that, she pretty well fits the bill for the description given of women here.
My grandmother was honestly one of the most incredible people I've ever met. I have idolized her all of my life, and strive daily to be more like her. I always thought if I could be just like my Grammie, I would consider myself a success.
However...there are a few little known facts about my Grammie. As I stated earlier, she was the most influential person in my life. Given the number of children and grand children that she had, I covet the amount of intimate time that I got to spend with her. Myself and one of my cousins, Erin, were blessed in that we got to spend more time with her and learn more from her than I think any of her other grandchildren. The summers we spent together at our grandparents house growing up are something that no one can ever take away.
In the time we spent together, we learned invaluable lessons from Grammie. We learned how to garden, we learned how to cook and bake (although Grammie would never admit to teaching us to cook, she would say she taught us to read a recipe...), we learned how to knit and cross stitch, we learned how to sneak treats upstairs for our giggle-filled nights of watching soap operas and chatting about any and everything.
And, we also learned how to be strong, independent women.
Our grandmother taught us that, although she stayed home and raised her family in the way that she thought to be proper, that she was never truly happy with that life. She taught us that we needed to have our own hopes, dreams, and goals for life. She taught us that having a driver's license and being able to transport ourselves places was as crucial as breathing. She taught us that we should never sacrifice our own happiness for the happiness of a man. That a husband and wife should be a compliment to one another, always making sacrifices for EACH other, and that no person is better than another.
I also loved and idolized my grandfather, as he was quite literally the most intelligent person I've ever known. He spent countless hours with us on his knee, teaching us to read, showing us how to plant and cultivate things, taking us hiking and teaching us about nature. He was an incredible man...but I also observed how he and Grammie interacted with one another. There was no passion. They did not look at each other the way my husband and I do. They were not tender with one another. There were times that I saw Grammie send Grandpa to the grocery with a list, and he would come back without several of the items she asked for, because he didn't "think" she really needed them.
My grandparents were faithful to one another. Grammie faithfully kept his home, and put a beautiful meal on the table for him every day for near on 70 years. She raised his children, and he provided for her and the family.
But do I believe that either of them were fulfilled in their life? No. I do not.
I witnessed the exact lifestyle that the author of this article is referencing, and I saw the emptiness that they both felt. I listened to my Grammie when she told me that I needed to seek happiness and a fulfilling life for my own future, whether that happiness came from being a stay-at-home mom, or having a career, or being single, or going to college...whatever it was, all she wanted for our generation was to be happy with our choices.
When I read this article written by a man...and then I reflect on the lessons I was taught by a very noble woman who lived exactly the life described here, it incites a rage in me that I don't even have words to express. Who is this man to judge the life of another? Who is this man to condemn me and my family as sinners, for choosing the path that leads to the most happiness and fulfillment for everyone in my home? Who is this man to think he knows God's design?
You know who I think the real sinners are? Those who think they know all the answers, and that there is a "one size fits all" way of life. Judge not, lest ye be not judged, right?
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